The Day the Earth Stood Still

2008 US Scott Derrickson
1/2

Pretty-cool effects fail to save this Al Gore-ish remake from sucking air into its gills and dying a slow, philosophically painful ("Nothing ever truly dies. Everything is simply [...] transformed.") cinematic death. Ably-made, but acting sucks—Keanu Reeves being the least of the problem. Jennifer Connelly has been shit ever since she shaved off her unibrow, and Klaatu should have killed Will Smith's kid when he had the damn chance. What an annoying brat! Otherwise: I haven't seen the original, but this one tries to be Green and well-meaning, like a dumb kid's science project. You smile, because what else can you do? Though it is hard to stomach the "progressive" attitude when you know the filmmakers have a black kid with a white stepmother and a throwaway scientist character named Yusef only so that, generations from now, when our great grandchildren are studying our cultural artifacts, they'll watch The Day the Earth Stood Still (yeah, right!) and say, "Gee, interracial marriage and smart, America-friendly Arabs—what a brave and daring portrayal."

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